I try to not act like I’m a single mom, but sometimes I can’t help it.  For the past 7 years, the model of parenting that I have is my mother, who is a widow raising 2 little boys.  So I am heavily influenced by the single mom lifestyle.  This of course poses a because I am not a single mom.  I am married to the guy who is my baby daddy.  Not only do I act like a single mom, but I treat him like a child as well.  Maybe I shouldn’t do that anymore.  I guess I feel like I have all the answers and am the only one that knows what the right things to do are and my way is the only way.  Not only does that put strain on my marriage, but it also is a lot of work for me to do.  Even when I leave him with his dad and I go out, I tend to worry about Noah, wanting to make sure his dad does it exactly like I do.  But it’s good that we are two different people with two different ways of thinking and acting and handling things.  If I wanted to marry myself, I would have.  So now I’m trying to be more aware of my actions.  It doesn’t mean that I suddenly am perfect and have this under control, but at least it is getting better.  We had this big talk last night and everything that was on both of our minds and hearts came out on the table and it felt really good to not only say what I had to say, but to hear what needed to be said to me.  It’s all going to be ok.  

i wrote this really cool lullaby for noah and he likes it. 

i’ll pat your back, i’ll hold you tight 

My precious baby boy is happy and healthy.  He went to the doctor yesterday and received a clean bill of health.  He now weighs 13 lbs 1 oz, he is 24 1/2 inches and his head is 16 inches.  He’s huge!!  Noah got 5 shots, and one vaccine by mouth.  He did so well!  He only cried a little bit and then fell asleep afterward.  It was so reassuring to hear from the doctor that he’s perfect.  So yay!!!  I’m so glad!  

Hi, my name is Crystal and I’m a procrastinator.  I was going to post more, but I’ll do it later.  

God, give me the ability to be motivated to finish the laundry and keep my house tidy.  No more excuses or hiding behind having a new baby!!!

When Noah cries, it breaks my heart.  I wish I could solve all his little problems and make him feel 100 % all the time.  Tonight he’s crying like something hurts and I can’t figure out what is wrong.  Michael and I gave him a bath, he’s been changed, fed, loved, rocked.  I just want to make his world perfect.  My poor baby I know I should just be able to let him cry for a while and get it out, but it kills me.  I hope I’m not going to be one of those crazy over protective moms.  I make fun of those moms.  

i have never been so tired in my entire life.  will i ever sleep again?  even with 2 hour naps, i could sleep forever.  i just. wathk……..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So I have noticed that since Noah has been born, I seem to have more tolerance with life than I did before.  I nanny part time for this adorable family and I have found that I have a huge amount of patience with the two children.  Not that they are uncontrollable children, they are actually very good and very cute, but I don’t get bored or irritated like I used to.  It’s amazing to me that since the baby has arrived, things like whining and crying don’t really register in my head much anymore.  I guess that is a good thing because babies do cry a lot and if I let it get to me, I think I’d be insane right now.  That makes me happy because patience has always been the area that I have struggled with more than anything.  I have a tendencey to get pissed for no reason.  

As I am sitting here typing, Noah is asleep on the floor and it is so cute to watch him sleep.  He looks so peaceful and it is funny to watch him make all kinds of facial expressions.  I can’t believe he is mine

I do have to brag and say that I have the cutest baby in the entire world, even when he’s cranky.  He is the most amazing, wonderful gift I’ve ever been blessed with and I love him more than I ever thought I could.  

So I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but now Noah starts sleeping like 6 hours at night. How wonderful is that? I kinda don’t know what to do with myself tho, when I wake up expecting the hungry cry. But I think he’s starting to understand day and night because he’s up more during the day. It’s always fun to see Noah’s beautiful blue eyes, which are getting bluer by the day. I’m still enjoying motherhood, although it’s taken time to get used to Michael being back and wanting to help. He was gone for 5 days and I quickly got used to doing everything myself. Time to think of him as Noah’s dad, not a live in babysitter, which has been kinda the way I’ve been treating him. On the other hand, Noah is my son and I spend most of the time with him so I do know better what cries mean what and what makes him happy. Oh the adjustments.

So baby Noah is doing great. He is almost 6 weeks old and as cute as a button! Fun update, he rolled over from his back to his belly! Although, I have to say he hates being on his belly and his rolling over were in the middle of fits of mad rage, but he did it nonetheless. He’s more alert everyday and loves to look outside and be out in the heat. If you think about it, he’s been in a 98 degree humid climate for 9 months. Of course he’d love outside in Houston summer! I have some really cute pics of him and a couple videos, but I don’t know how to upload them. I’ll let Michael do that.