So normally we leave the warm humidity of Houston and go up to the frozen tundra of Chicago the day after Christmas and stay until New Years.  This year we are staying here to experience all that is the wonderful after Christmas time.  I have to admit at first all I did was complain about how the two Christmases were the the same, how the feelings were different, how the people were not the same, how the traditions were different.  But I have to accept the fact that life changes and I have to turn develop traditions with my own family.  I hate change.  But Life changes everyday and I have to accept it and go with it.  So I am going to try to keep a happy heart and look forward to starting traditions with my son and husband that hopefully will stick for the rest of our lives.  

Lord, grant me gratitude instead of selfishness, happiness instead of anger and love instead of maliciousness.                                                                                   Amen. 

I try to not act like I’m a single mom, but sometimes I can’t help it.  For the past 7 years, the model of parenting that I have is my mother, who is a widow raising 2 little boys.  So I am heavily influenced by the single mom lifestyle.  This of course poses a because I am not a single mom.  I am married to the guy who is my baby daddy.  Not only do I act like a single mom, but I treat him like a child as well.  Maybe I shouldn’t do that anymore.  I guess I feel like I have all the answers and am the only one that knows what the right things to do are and my way is the only way.  Not only does that put strain on my marriage, but it also is a lot of work for me to do.  Even when I leave him with his dad and I go out, I tend to worry about Noah, wanting to make sure his dad does it exactly like I do.  But it’s good that we are two different people with two different ways of thinking and acting and handling things.  If I wanted to marry myself, I would have.  So now I’m trying to be more aware of my actions.  It doesn’t mean that I suddenly am perfect and have this under control, but at least it is getting better.  We had this big talk last night and everything that was on both of our minds and hearts came out on the table and it felt really good to not only say what I had to say, but to hear what needed to be said to me.  It’s all going to be ok.